Have It All
by Lysergic
Summary: She used to think dreams of her old life were her private oasis. A break of the harsh life she's living. Now she's beginning to realize they're just nightmares. [NaruSaku] but eventual [Sasusaku] [NaruHina]
1. Pressure on the Clay

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

 **Pressure on the Clay**

* * *

Sakura used to think dreams of her old life were her private oasis, a break of the harsh life she's living.

In her dreams, Sakura would wake up next to her husband, her eyes wide and her breathing labored. His blue eyes would always fill with concern drawing a breath to ask her, "What's wrong?"

She'd always move stray rose strands from her face before quietly saying she had a nightmare and tell him of her reality. Her husband would gently place his hand on the side of her face tracing non-existent circles on her temple and ask her what it was before reassuring her nothing of such thing would ever happen to her, followed by a soft kiss.

She'd visit her parents, detailing the events of her week with utmost excitement. Their garden would be plentiful and they'd always share part of the crop for her to take home and cook.

At work her patients would smile when they saw her and they'd almost-always get better. Some nights she'd be woken up to help bring a new life into the world. She'd cradle the small infant gently to the table where she'd examine him before bringing him to his mom.

At the end of her day, she'd go home and ask her husband if they should start a family because she always wanted to be a mom. She'd melt into his caresses before drifting off to a peaceful slumber.

Now, when she wakes up from those dreams Sakura cries and tries to lull herself back to sleep praying she'll be spared of those nightmares.

Now, she wakes up alone her body deprived heat that her flimsy blanket does little to retain. Her feet ache, from hours of standing, hovering over fallen soldiers trying to desperately piece them together. Her gloves usually rip; a testament to their quality. Her are scrubs covered with stains; that she's tried _so_ hard to wash.

Often trying to humanize them, hoping that they once had a life as happy as hers, because if she takes them for face value she might lose what little sanity she has left.

* * *

Today, her patient looks at her with dark criticizing eyes, asking her if she knows what she's doing. Normally Sakura would have ignored questions only responding to their superiors but his missing arm reminded her so much of her husband she responds without thinking.

"You just have some minor bruising on T-3 and T-4. You're just being kept for a little bit more monitoring."

"Just give me something for the pain. You can do that right." He replies huskily with a slight flirtatious tone that Sakura fails to pick-up on.

"Yes, sir."

They both know that his government deems men like him too valuable. Anytime ROOT's operatives are injured they are required to stay in the hospital until every wound of them is fully healed. She would be a fool to contradict him. The scars scattered across her body remind her of those days.

She checks other men's vitals, quickly writing them down before her shift was over. Before she makes her way over to the lockers before her guards come to get her.

Unsurprisingly there aren't many others like her at the hospital. She's heard rumors of another man in radiology who like her was taken from Japan.

She had caught her husband smoking a joint plenty of times and she often thinks of him as she smokes her cigarette while her guards diligently watch her in the back exit of the hospital she "works" at.

At the time his prosthetic was relativity flimsy and did nothing besides look like an arm. It was always a funny sight to her to see the way his eyebrow furrowed as he held the joint between his lips raising the lighter with his good arm.

The cigarette being pulled out of her lips and into the ashtray on top of the trashcan breaks her daydream. She allows her body to move as they turn her around and secure the handcuffs on her before walking into the back of the vehicle.

There are no windows in the car she's transported in. It's soundproof leaving her only to listen to heavy breaths of her guards and the occasional command.

Before exiting the vehicle a mask is placed on her and its only removed once she's back in her room and the door behind her is locked. She assumes this is so she has no chance of ever escaping further pushing her into dispear.

Her feet always hurt these days, so she wastes no time laying on her flimsy mattress. She looks over at her desk it's covered with medical text that have been provided to her. Knowing fully well she can never do anything to hurt them or they'll hurt her where it hurts the most

She wonders why they take all these precautions because she's never lashed out at them. They know she can never do anything to hurt them or they'll hurt her where it hurts the most.

* * *

In her sleep, she remembers the morning that she was kidnapped. She had woken up alone, for a change as her husband had been called in to investigate a fire. It was big news as nothing ever happened in her small village. She should have known something was off.

Like always she made her way to her parents only to find that they weren't home. For weeks they had been planning a vacation to America. How could she have forgotten? Every time she looked in the mirror and took in her western features she was reminded that she wasn't really Japanese despite spending all of her life there. Maybe that's why they never found her. _Because they never really lost one of there own._

"We just want to take a trip through memory lane." Her mom tenderly said as she handed her a cup of tea the last day she saw her.

"We'll see you soon." They promised.

 _We need some space_. They silently whispered.

She's in the middle of making curry when her phone rings. It's the hospital, someone is in with abdominal pain, sounds like its appendicitis.

Sakura takes a shortcut through an alley when her world turns to black. Next thing she knows she's in a boat. She can only assume this by the unnatural sway of the floor beneath her. And the faint smell of vomit that comes from the mouth of the man speaking to her.

 _Seasickness_ she assumes.

* * *

"Let me make this clear if you do anything to hurt us we will hurt them." The pictures laid in front of her were of her parents, her husband. The trip they took years ago to America because Naruto really wanted to go to Disneyland. Her helping her parents in their garden, picking the very food that they'd eat that day. _How many years of planning had this taken?_

It was the middle of the night when Sakura was moved again. This time into a house.

"Listen Bitch based on your previous behavior we think it is appropriate to move you into a more habitable zone. Lord Danzo is generous and has provided you a house, don't make him regret this." The guard grabbed the collar of her shirt as he ended his sentence. "Don't forget who is at risk here."

Of course, she couldn't escape, she saw the men that walked the streets, the uniform conditions of the houses. They're soldiers, all of them and they are aware of her presence.

She knows this by the way her neighbors look through her windows and the small track's dirt that are scattered throughout her house. Sakura hasn't found them yet but she _knows_ that her house is littered with cameras.

However, she has a small yard, she can walk out into.

 _Maybe she can plant a garden._

* * *

 _lll_


	2. Carving Out Opinions

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Carving Out Opinions

* * *

"You know I can fix that for you." An impossibly blonde nurse told Sakura in the breakroom she had recently been allowed into. She'd heard other soldiers talk about her, _how couldn't they she was as beautiful as they described her_.

At first, she had hoped the nurse only slightly resembled the brightness that her husband's signature blonde hair had held but now she's thankful that she doesn't. Sakura doesn't think she would have been able to cope with anything but the washed-out version of him.

"Hello?"

Sakura flinched awaiting some type of physical contact to be made. "I…uh sorry. I wasn't paying attention. What do you want to fix?"

"Your hair. I see the way it bothers you. I can cut it. It's so exotic by the way, I've heard of others that have unique colors like yours but never met anyone in real life." She rambled. This made Sakura's heart do that little palpitation she'd experience whenever Naruto would do the every same thing. He would talk for hours about anything, always so passionate about life.

"Uh, Doctor. Are you going to answer me?"

"I don't think it'd be appropriate. I'm not sure what my parameters are here." Sakura replied curtly.

"Oh, that's nonsense. I'll be over at nine tonight." She chirped with a smack of her lips as she began to walk out the door.

 _How does she know where I live_ … Sakura thought as she slumped on her chair, checking her clock before heading out herself.

* * *

Most of the men she treated had the same bottomless dark eyes. Eyes that had probably seen hundreds of lives end. Eyes that she could so clearly see her reflection from. The blonde nurse was right Sakura thought as she took in the outline of her appearance, her hair _does_ bother her. It looks too damaged, too uncared foit'sits begging for help. _Just like me._

"How long has this been going on?" She asked pulling a flashlight out of her once bright white lab jacket.

"The blurred vision or the nausea?" The man asked, unsure of what to answer while Sakura ran her flash light through his eyes.

"Both."

"I don't know, like a day. When can I sleep?" His loud yawn emphasized his exhaustion

"Soon Colonel Tsumiki. I need to run some test first so I'm going to send a nurse in for some blood samples."

Sakura finished writing her notes looking at the unhealthily pale man in front of her. The redness of his neck didn't settle well within her.

"I'll be back in a bit. Is there anything you'd like me to bring you?"

"No thanks, I haven't been hungry for a few days."

With a slight bow, Sakura excused herself and began walking back towards the nurses station.

Her stomach flipped this didn't feel like a simple illness and if she didn't catch it soon she was going to be in deep trouble. Without thinking she made her way to pathology completely ditching her infectious disease text at the nurse's station.

"Doctor" A nurse yelled altered as her slightly paranoid state.

"Keep an eye on room 211. Call ICU and ask them to prepare a room."

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck_. Sakura thought as searched for a toxicology text in pathology.

* * *

"Sakura-chan why the fuck are you here? You have to come home you can't slay your days away in the hospital."

A loud voice rang through the walls of a small office. An office lit up by a small lamp that shun no brighter than the city behind her.

"Shut-up. Can't you see I'm busy? I need to find out what's wrong with her. She's going to die, her family has been crying non-stop." Sakura always got angry at how ignorant Naruto could be in those situations. Ever since they got engaged he had been bursting into her office at all hours demanding that she'd get proper rest and sleep. Wordlessly asking her to quit her job and become a full-time house wife. The slight tinge of purple under her eyes was a testament to how tired she was.

"This isn't normal, we're getting married soon. I told you I make more enough for the both of us. You need to quit."

Sakura felt her heart squeeze. "Naruto, I told you this is what I'm good at I know she's poisoned and I can fix it. I just need more time, please." She pleaded, trying to get through to him. Her hands reaching for his, the shiny rock on her finger glistening in the light.

"This happens every other week. I thought you wanted a family too. We can't have a family if you're at work all the time. You either leave now or we're through."

It hurt. _Please don't leave me. You're the only one who wants to accept me_. She pleaded, feeling tears run down her face.

Naruto's frown didn't help.

"Don't cry Sakura-chan. You need to rest. Let's give your notes to the doctor on-call. I'm sure they'll find out what's wrong with her." He said walking over to her bending over to rest his forehead on hers.

Looking into his eyes she thought he was right. Sakura had always been a sucker for pretty things and at the moment all she could do was drown while she looked into his blue eyes.

Overtaken by emotion and the need to feel wanted all she could do was nod. While he packed her belongings into a small bag.

Not long after they bought a nice home in a small village.

* * *

Sakura hovered the feed that the electrocardiogram gave her with a pen. Measuring the distance between the RR intervals of his heartbeat.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

 _Bradycardia._ A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Doctor, I have an update on Colonel Tsumiki." She said waiting for Sakura to pick up her notebook before continuing.

"He's been extremely lethargic and been requesting pain medication for his stomach pain. His body temperature is stable…I've kept him on an IV drip of 50 CC's just like your requested. He has been having some diarrhea in addition to his lack of appetite."

"What about the rash on his neck?"

"It grew from .05mm to 2mm."

"Have you contacted pathology with his results yet?" Sakura said comparing two lists of symptoms she had copied from her medical books earlier.

"I-" The nurse began as she nervously eyed Sakura

"Run over there and ask them to test him for any types convallarin and convallatoxin."

"Yes doctor."

* * *

"I heard what you did today." The blonde, who had just formally introduced herself as Ino, chirped as she hovered over Sakura and parted her hair.

"This is a big deal. You realize someone had to deliberately poison him, there is no other way. I'm impressed. I read his file earlier in the day, I thought it was some type of virus."

Sakura was under the impression too, if it wasn't for the rash on his neck she would have injected him with the best antibiotics that were on market.

 _If something happens it will be your fault._

"I'm sure there is a reasonable cause." She said after a small pause.

"Who do you think did it, was it one of you _guys,_ " Ino smirked as the scissors cut through strands of pastel pink hair.

"I- No. I'm grateful my current situation. I have no communication with any others." Sakura said as she felt cold metal on her forehead above her eyebrows.

Her conversation with Ino was starting to go downhill really fast. Sakura had been hoping she could find someone who resembled a friend to ease the pain of her life. She had hoped that someone was Ino but now she knows she was a fool to think that. The current direction of her conversation was starting to break her out in a cold sweat. She prayed Ino wouldn't notice.

"Sakura, Sakura. Don't worry we've noticed how faithful you've been to us. You'll be rewarded gratefully. Now tell me how do you like your current job."

'Please kill me.' Sakura prayed as she gulped and begged for courage before opening her mouth to reply.

"It's great…I'm well respected and I get to work in the field I'm so passionate about."

"That's great! Ooh before I forget, I brought you a bag of some of my old clothes. I thought you'd like something else to wear besides those gray sweatshirt and sweatpants of yours." Ino said motioning at the small duffle bag that she had placed on her couch. Watching Sakura's worried reaction and hushed thank you.

"There you go. Look at how much better you look." Ino said as she admired the neck length bob and bangs that Sakura now had.

"Now, I would love to stay here and chat. But I have a date. I'll see you later." Ino said as she started to back away from Sakura.

Sakura could only stare at her reflection. As she heard Ino's energetic steps fade into the distance. She saw a stranger stare back at her, her once chubby cheeks were now gaunt and hollow. Her eyes lacked the passion and lust for life that they had once held. She looked down at her hands realizing that after all these years she's forgotten how it feels to touch _him_.

 _Where are you?_

* * *

 _lll_


	3. Whisper That I'm Winning

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Whisper That I'm Winning

* * *

Ino had been right. The clothes she had given her, while basic, gave her a boost of confidence she had been missing ever since started living here. The high-waist skirt and pastel top made her feel great. She was no longer followed by guards ever since she had been relocated. Now even been granted a small salary that she could use to buy in the town market.

She could start a garden. Maybe this time she could plant tomatoes. A sigh escaped her mouth remembering her parents' strong dislike of the fruit.

"I don't know why you would willingly want to add tomatoes onto anything, Sakura." Her dad said every spring with a bright smile. The type of smile where the ends of his eyes would crease and the sight of his expression could cheer up a whole room.

"And I don't know why you'd willingly pickle everything that comes your way." She'd tease back.

She signed at the memory, softly smiling to herself as she took a sip of tea, in her plain white cup.

She missed the colorful cups Naruto would bring from his travels. She especially missed the cups he made with her name on them.

* * *

"Sakura-chan I got you a surprise." A cheery voice yelled as he made his way to her in the kitchen.

"It better not be another Cat that belongs to someone else," Sakura said teasingly eyeing his hand behind his back. Giggling at the memory of the fat had he had brought back from work once claiming that Tora was a stray.

"Well, let's see what you have," Sakura said as she dried her hands. He held the small box in front of her lovingly grinning at him.

"I know. I've asked you for a lot lately, and that you've been sad ever since we moved. I just wanted to remind you made the right choice." He said as he placed a poorly wrapped box on her hands. She couldn't blame him, despite the latest improvements of his prothetic it still lacked the fine motor skills for a task like that. Plus she was sure he would have done a poor job even if he had two hands normal hands.

"Of course, I made the right choice I couldn't stand to be without you silly," Sakura playfully said placing the box on the counter top to open.

Her smile never left her face as she began to unwrap the box.

Inside the box was a set of pale pink and orange mugs that perfectly complimented each other. 'Property of Dr. Sakura Uzumaki' they read. Sakura eyed them carefully admiring their craftsmanship. Trying to ignore the swell she felt in her chest.

"You like them? I got them made when we were in America. I overheard you complain that you saw a nurse with one of your mugs since your new office doesn't have a sink-"

"Thank you. I love them. I love you" Sakura interrupted as she leaned up to kiss him.

* * *

As the weeks went by Sakura and Ino's friendship strengthened. Sakura started to visit Ino more and more frequently. Her mood had improved and she was sure she had even gained a bit of weight. Listening to her talk about her dates, and following her around town occupied her days and filled her with the slightest hint of joy.

"So, what do you think? I look good right?" Ino said flaunting her new top in front of Sakura. Sakura squirmed in her seat, not because it was uncomfortable but because she could never overcome how homey Ino had managed to make her cookie-cutter house feel.

"It's-" Sakura starts eyeing the purple dainty fabric that clings perfectly to every inch of her body. Sakura remembers having tired wearing something similar to that back when she was in medical school only to spend the rest of her night with her arms crossed shivering _. Naruto hated it_ , she recalls.

"Pretty" She finishes.

"You think so? I'm going to wear it out for my next date with Sasuke."

Sakura smiles at Ino's enthusiasm, her joy and hope is contagious. She can't help but feel a little bit happier every day she spends with her. It reminds her of the joy she used to feel with her husband.

"What about you, do you have anyone special Sakura?" Ino asked fully knowing the answer to the question, probably even better than Sakura herself. This question almost makes Sakura choke on the bright cup of white tea Ino had so graciously prepared.

"No," Sakura says thinking of brighter smiles, brighter eyes and yellower hair than the person in front of her. She frowns when she can no longer remember the exact sound of his voice when he yelled 'Sakura-chan' when she entered the room.

Ino could only frown at her response. "Liar, listen here Sakura-"

Sakura felt her heart drop' _Don't think you can ever be happy again'_ She remembers a guard told her when she was first being moved to and from the hospital.

"-you're smart so let us not beat around the bush. I have access to your file." Ino said in a darker tone before brightly smiling at her like nothing ever happened. Sakura knew what she meant

Sakura knew that Ino had probably seen the photos that had been shown to her years ago of her and her family. Photos that stir memories and make her wake up in cold-sweats every. single. night.

"Fine, I'm married." Ino's smile lights up, helping Sakura ease from her awkwardness.

"Was he cute?" Ino began softening her eyes at the way Sakura's face seemed to slightly brighten at the memory.

"I thought so."

"What was he like?"

"Um...he was loud but loving."

"His hair?"

"Blonde, more-so yellow."

"…eyes?"

"Bright Blue."

"Are you sure you weren't married to me?" Ino asked with a laugh. Sakura was stunned as she had always noticed this but never thought others would have noticed the similarities.

"Was he a foreigner too?" She asked staring into Sakura's almond-shaped eyes. Taking in her sharp nose and cheekbones.

"Half"

"What a shame you'd of made cute babies. Was he at least a good fuck?"

"Ino!"

"Hey, I'm just asking. Not like I'll ever meet the guy or you'll ever see him again." Ino said caught in the moment rambling the last part. Ino remembers the shock she felt when she first read her file. Much to her surprise, she was married. Not a healthy marriage either. She's pretty sure he's remarried since. It had been years since they had to check up on him.

The sound of Ino's door let her know Sakura had left.

* * *

" _Not like I'll ever meet the guy or you'll ever see him again"_ Ino's words rang through Sakura's head as she made her way back to her house. The breeze hit the trail of tears that were running down her face as she took a break in the middle of the empty road. _You'll never see him again._

Sakura knew she was a fool. Always blindly believed in her dreams. All this time she thought Naruto would eventually make the way back into her life. That the Japanese Army would find her and take her back home.

But the reality was that it had been years. Any major leads they had would have brought them to her by now and yet here she is. Still held captive.

She made her way into her door towards her small garden. Sitting down with tears spilling down her eyes. She was never leaving this place.

She knew she was chipped with a tracker, placed in a suburb where everyone was a soldier. She was convinced that everyone knew she was a prisoner. All they had been doing was tricking her into believing she was free.

 _Nothing more than a dog who was taught how to behave._

Her door opened. She could see the shadow of a man outlined, he was a clutching an arm.

"W-who is there?" She asked trying to sound as confident as she could choking back her tears. As she walked over to the entrance switching the light.

"I need your assistance"

"Oh," Sakura said, shamefully whipping the tears off of her eyes with the hem of her blouse. Before walking over the man analyzing him for any type of injury. Trying to keep her professional façade up.

'Left thoracic injury' She assessed based on the manner he clutched his arm, she could see blood seeping through his white shirt.

"Please, come sit in the kitchen table. I need to go get some supplies." She said as she remembered a medical supply bag she had found in her closet earlier in the month.

The man wordlessly followed.

* * *

"What's your name." He asked while Sakura patiently sewed stitches into his shoulder.

Sakura chose to ignore his question. She remembered the first time she met him several months ago. He was one of ROOTS prized members and was treated as such.

"What's your name." He repeated. Slightly wincing at the feel of the needle piercing through his flesh.

"It's Sakura but I'm sure you already knew that. I forgot you can't stand feeling pain. I'm numb your shoulder." Sakura murmured as she made her way to her medical bag carefully searching through the vials before pulling a small container of tolycaine and a syringe.

"This is just a local anesthetic, let me know if you begin to experience any more pain Sergeant."

"Hn...Only our intelligence unit has information on your name. We aren't told that type of information." He continued trying to keep the conversation going while Sakura finished the stiches.

"I'm done here you need to leave." Sakura continued trying to let him know that she was in no mood to talk as threw her used supplies into an empty box at the door that led to the backyard. Making her way back out to her garden. With her cigarettes and lighter in her hands.

"I'm Sasuke." He continued as followed her. "I think it's in our best interest to become acquainted." Sasuke knew he had her attention when he no longer saw the constant stream of smoke from her inhalation.

Sakura sighed, "You need to leave, this place is covered in camera's."

"I'll tell you all you want to hear about your capture. No secrets." He continued.

"Are you not listening? You're going to get in trouble. I'm going to get in trouble. Please leave." She snapped back.

"No, we're not there aren't any cameras in here. Listen, the government starting to trust you. I can help you out by finding out what they want from you. You just have to help me." His words were lined with tone of confidence that Sakura couldn't turn away from.

"What do you want in return," Sakura said suspiciously while offering him a cigarette. Out of courtesy.

"Just heal me when I come in," Sasuke replied holding the lighter up to the cigarette in his mouth.

Sakura's felt her stomach flip when she saw the metallic glint of his mechanical arm.

 _Why does his memory follow me everywhere?_

* * *

 _lll_


	4. Force it everyday

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Force it everyday

* * *

Ino showed up the following weekend with a small cake in her hands and a sincere smile.

"Sorry if I overstepped the other day." It took every inch of willpower for Sakura to not slam the door in Ino's face. But she was starting to come to terms with her condition and she had to take what she could get.

"I apologize for overreacting want to come in for some tea?" Sakura said with a slight bow of her waist.

Ino took a sigh of relief as she made her way through Sakura's small living room into her kitchen placing the bright pink cake on her glass table.

"So, how have you been?" Sakura smiled as she cut the cake Ino had presented her. It was certainly a strange peace offering as far as she knew Ino had no reason to even try to get on her good side. She had all the information she wanted at her disposal. She had spent weeks trying to understand why. Could she just be nothing besides a primary source?

"Don't get me started, works been a mess ugh. Do you see the bags under my eyes?" Ino exclaimed pointing at her eyes.. Sakura tried to search for even an indent under her eyes or anything that would indicate lack of sleep but unlike her Ino would always look glorious despite how she felt.

"Oh, really…I thought the past few days were really dead." Sakura recounted thinking of the past few days 'Unusually dead too' Sakura mentally added having had nothing but a follow-up appointment with a patient in between mountains of paperwork and studying.

"Well um, it's complicated…I just had to do a lot of paperwork…you know the other doctors here have us do their work."

"Oh really? Your nursing program must be so much more advanced." Sakura said amused, having never seen Ino get caught in a lie before.

"Really did you not have nurses do that for you before?" Ino seamlessly stammered.

Shaking her head Sakura bit into the cake, feeling her sense's fill with the sweet, yet bitter, taste of sugar. Trying to hide the need to turn her facial expression into the telltale sign of displeasure

"Nope, it was a lot more intimate I guess." She chimed.

"I'll tell you what was intimate, last night with Sasuke," Ino leaned back in her chair to emphasize her point.

'Bingo' Sakura thought, as she knew the direction that her conversation with Ino was heading. Ever since the night, Sasuke showed up her mind raced with questions about him. She knew she had to do everything to get the upper hand.

"Well, are you going to keep me waiting or are you going to spill it?" Sakura faked her enthusiasm by taking another spoonful of her bittersweet cake.

"You're going to have to share too." Ino taunted with a slight glint in her eyes.

"Done." Sakura faked her smile.

"What do you want to know?" Ino asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Everything, you don't talk about him much besides mentioning that you're going on dates with him. Just start from the beginning."

"Beginning hmmm...Well, we went to school together. He was always the cool, bad boy when we were growing up. He joined ROOT after graduation, I went to school to become a nurse. A few years ago he started talking to me and you could say that the rest is history." Ino said in a rush but with dreamy eyes, making her love for Sasuke so apparent to Sakura.

"Aw, a childhood romance. I'm sure you're close to his family." Sakura said knowing better than to press her for questions.

Sakura was shocked when Ino's face dropped. "Well you see-" she began.

"His family is a really influential family and so is mine but we never made things official… and his dad is like, really really strict. So, he'd never approve of us, I think he's trying to keep it on the down low for now. " Ino looked at the rest of her untouched cake, no longer feeling hungry

"Well, Sakura what about you?" She asked trying to lighten her mood.

Sakura offered Ino a sincere smile before she began talking. "I met him when I was in my first year of medical school. He was updating his prosthetic and ended up taking me out for coffee to 'celebrate' his new arm. A few years later we got married." Sakura felt her cheeks redden as she finished summarizing the events that led to her marriage. Her heart swells at the recollection of how happy he had made her.

Her eyes met Ino's intrigued stare.

"How boring you missed all the details, anyway, how'd he lose his arm?"

"A firework accident." 'But I knew that was a lie, the burn marks didn't match.' She added mentally.

"Oh, Sasuke lost his in a fight the other guy obviously died! I didn't know you were involved in prosthetics."

Sakura then explained to Ino the way her the system of her medical education worked, where she was able to learn a lot of basics on a lot of things and how that happened to include prosthetics. She mentioned her passion for toxicology and lied about how pediatrics and general medicine superseded it.

"Naruto, please you have to understand. It's not just an obsession I'm good at this." Sakura remembers the way those words spilled as she begged Naruto to give her one more chance.

"I just don't know how I feel about you working with this. What if you make the wrong antidote or accidentally get poisoned. I worry…plus you don't know when to stop working, for all I know you can work yourself into exhaustion. Knowing that doesn't make me feel any better, ya know." He used to place his hands on her wrists during these types of conversations.

"I promise you that would never happen," Sakura said blissfully unaware of that fact that she'd break that promise in the upcoming months.

"Well did you try to have any kids?" Ino asked bringing Sakura out of her daydream.

"No." She lied, forcing the most realistic fake smile she could make.

* * *

Sakura was enjoying her bedtime tea on the engawa of her small house when Sasuke came for the second time making his presence known by wordlessly sitting next to her.

"I was beginning to think I made thing whole thing up," Sakura mumbled as she made her way for a second cup, he had been lucky she always made too much water.

She handed him his cup of tea, "I can tell you right now that's a sprain and nothing but time can heal that."

Sasuke looked back at her with a stoic expression before tasting her tea. She knew it wasn't much but it was all she had been able to grow in her small garden.

"Aa, you're right it happened last night"

She had to admit he was ridiculously good at hiding his injury. The way he rested his weight on his food with each step was almost seamless. She wouldn't have recognized it if it wasn't for the slight wince.

'He's never been good with pain,' she recalled.

"Do you have anything for the pain?"

Sakura raised her brow at his question, wondering if this whole arrangement was just a ploy to get drugs from her. "What are you taking right now?"

"Nothing." He told her with a serious expression.

"You know simple over the counter pain medication would do the job." Sakura was shocked at his reply, how babied where ROOTS members when it came to simple self-care.?

"Doctors are the only ones who are allowed to prescribe any type of medication. Unless I'm deployed."

"Oh…" She replied slightly ashamed. This type of information was common knowledge. Another blow to her self-esteem about her current situation.

"Let me go get you your medicine then." She told Sasuke as she made her way to her medicine cabinet.

"Just take two every 6-8 hours as needed."

Sasuke nodded placing the small jar in his pocket.

"Now-" Sakura started sitting on the very same table as she had been when she talked to Ino earlier in the day. "-about your end of the deal."

Sasuke finished taking the small white pill before asking, "What do you want to know?"

"I want you to tell me everything you've found out so far."

"Everything?" He snorted taking a drink of his tea.

"Yes." She reaffirmed.

"This might take some time then," Sasuke remarked as he pushed his cup towards Sakura as an indication for more.

* * *

 _lll_


	5. Hide Away From Nothing

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

* * *

Hide away from nothing

* * *

Sakura could only stare at the small uchiwa embroidered on the corner of his shirt as he began to speak.

"I'm sure you've gathered that your abduction was a lengthy calculated decision. You just happened to meet the criteria, Danzo thought your skills would be of use later on." Sasuke stated with a stoic expression.

Sakura swallowed gripping her mug tightly, "Okay... what was the benefit of having me initially?"

"A few years ago, a program started where we'd send spies into different countries. The first few years held very little success as our members acted so out of place. This program was cut off and eventually, we brought you here to study your mannerisms, behavior, pattern of speech."

'That doesn't add up…I'm such a bad test sample, my parents were American. The way I act has always been so out of place.' Sakura grimly thought, remembering how her peers would taunt her growing up over everything. How she walked, the eye contact she held with her superiors, her cliché name, the color of her hair, eyes, everything.

"There were others too you weren't the only one." He continued.

This wasn't new information for Sakura. Remembers all the whispers between the hospital staff when she arrived. 'She's just like the guy from radiology.'

She saw Sasuke sigh, "You were kept in observation for the first couple of months before being moved to a social setting. They wanted one you were familiar with, and what would make you feel better than being placed in another hospital?"

Sakura couldn't speak, she was at loss for words, everything Sasuke had told her made sense. It made sense the first few weeks, she was kept alone except for random interactions with guards. She vaguely recalls watching a movie once. Sometimes they'd eat breakfast with her, other times they take her for a random activity. Every push and hit was to see how she reacted.

She can only gather they were watching her reaction to compare it to that of others, eventually molding the 'perfect' behaving spy.

"The others were put in different… better situations…. right?" Sasuke's silence answered her question. Like always she got the short end of the stick. She gathered that others had not had to endure the wrath of the guards. Who seemingly hit without reason would at times.

Sakura lamented in silence for a couple of minutes. Trying to commit every detail she had heard into her long-term memory.

"Lub-dub. Lub-dub. Lub-dub" Her chest shouted she was sure Sasuke could hear it.

She waited a few more minutes in uncomfortable silence asking her heart to not beat so loudly, to not give away how scared she was before she spoke again, "Do you know anything about my family?" Feeling like her heart was about to beat out of her chest.

"Relax they're fine" He reassured her as if he could hear her heart. "Your parents moved back to America about a year after your disappearance."

Sakura felt her heart sink, imagining the pain and suffering that her parents had felt. They had always been extra affectionate, especially with her being the only child.

"What about my husband?" She whimpered out feeling her heartbeat pick up again.

"He left too," Sasuke said, placing his hand on your shoulder as an attempt to ground her.

Sakura's mind spun, what did that mean. Where did he move to? Did he move on? She had so many more questions for Sasuke.

However, she knew that she could only handle so much at a time. Her eyes stung, her nose felt stuffy as she tried to hold back the tears that were gathering on her eyes.

Sasuke tried his best not to stare at her at the beginning stages of a breakdown. "I should head out, I'll be back soon." He mumbled trying his best not to make the situation any worse.

* * *

The medication Sakura had given him had helped ease his pain, but watching her break down tugged a string in his heart he didn't know he possessed.

He opted for taking the long route back home. He still had a few roses he could go handout but his mood was no longer there.

Sasuke liked to think that he made this offer to her because his moral compass was right, even if she was another pretty face. Sure, her exotic features made her stand out, especially the pink hair and her eyes held a pain that he hadn't seen since his brother received his death sentence.

Sasuke was sure his intentions were nothing more than another means of being accepted by his father. Having gone to the hospital for his sprained ankle or stitches would cost him time that he didn't have. Not to mention the nauseous feeling he felt whenever he was in the all too familiar white walls.

She was a prime candidate as his personal doctor as her reputation in the hospital exceeded her place in the social ladder. Being well known for her high success rates and dedication. She had never refused care, making her a popular among ROOT's members. Not that they were allowed to express that.

He sees the entrance to his family compound and unsurprisingly Ino waiting nearby.

"Hey babe, I've been looking for you. I tried to call you but I think your phones dead. I was wondering if you could come over tonight?" She says as she frolicked her way to him.

"I'll be over in an hour" Sasuke replies, thinking that this is as good of a time as any to get more information out of Ino.

* * *

Ino had a habit of never locking her door. Sasuke learned this long ago, not that he ever blamed her it was safe here being only surrounded by other soldiers. As much as he despised Danzo Sasuke had to give him credit for appropriately meeting the needs of everyone here.

"Sasuke! I was starting to think you'd never showed up!" Ino exclaimed in excitement dropping the fabric she was holding onto her duffle bag.

"Going anywhere, Beautiful." He replied smoothly as he pulled a rose out.

"No, of course not. I was just packing a bag of clothes I no longer wear for Sakura. She gets paid less than our kitchen staff. She dresses like that too and I just couldn't have that. Lord Danzo doesn't care about it either. So I figured why not?" She said as she grabbed the rose out of his hand and placed it in the vase she had prepared.

"Sasuke when are you going to stop gifting me white roses, I want red ones." She said with a pout as she admired the delicate flower.

"I forgot." He lied smiling sweetly at her. "How about we go somewhere else." 'Somewhere where I won't worry about your neighbors listening in our conversation' He mentally added.

"Ooooo…lets go out to a restaurant." Ino chimed standing in front of him wrapping her arms around his shoulders to inhale his scent.

"Hmm, how about somewhere more private, like the observation deck," Sasuke suggested thinking about the privacy that place offered for them.

"Sure babe, but first-" Ino lustfully said looking at him mischievously before she began to kiss down his neck. Moving her hands from his shoulders down this toned chest to the waistband of his pants to pull his pants down.

Sasuke took a deep breath that Ino could interpret as pleasure as he prepared himself for the events that would soon follow.

 _She better be worth the effort._

* * *

After gathering all of her thoughts Sakura thought it would be wise to sleep. She contemplated on taking a sleeping aid before deciding against it, she never really struggled to fall asleep once she was in her bed anyway.

But as her luck would have it Sakura had no sweet dreams of nothing instead her memory would replay in her slumber.

Sakura had spent hours going over Pinterest posts on pregnancy announcements. She settled on homemade ramen and a small box that contained her lab results.

'You're going to be a daddy.' She wrote at the bottom of the paper, just to make her plan fail proof.

She had just finished placing the bowl of ramen her table when a mop of blonde hair peaked his head into the kitchen.

"Surprise!" She cheered smoothing out the wrinkles from her red dress.

Naruto's smile widened as he walked over to hug her in appreciation. "Sakura-chan, whats going on here?"

"Well I just wanted to surprise you, I have good news." Sakura happily replied as she placed a loose kiss on his cheek.

"You really did surprise me, you know," He said as took a seat in preparation for his meal.

"Before you eat, I have something to show you." She explained as she pulled out the small box.

"Whats going on Sakura-chan, is it our anniversary?...no that can't be it.. you get promoted didn't you?" He laughed from excitement.

"Just open it." She retorted.

Her smile got impossibly wider as she saw him read the print of the paper. His eyes softened before filling with tears and the smile on his face could only match hers.

"Come here Sakura-chan we're going to be parents," He cried as he held his arms out for her.

"I know I can't believe it." She happily said as she kissed him.

Sakura awoke with feeling the dampness of her pillow from her tears. She looked at the clock it was 4:04 in the morning. She had another hour before she had to wake-up but the re-found emptiness of her womb made it impossible for her too.

She put her head back down and bawled hoping it would ease her pain.

* * *

 _lll_


	6. Screaming Out For Something

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Screaming out for something

* * *

Sakura found a casual dress in one of the bags Ino had dropped off. It was sleeveless, just like she liked it. She had always been fond of the way her arms looked, the V-neck was exactly like Naruto liked it and the length made it comfortable to walk in.

Most importantly it was black. It symbolized her mourning, for her family, her husband, her everything.

 _Her baby._

She felt her hands shake as she struggled to light the cigarette between her lips. Trying to steady her breaths.

"In-out. In-out. In-out" she murmured as she kept flicking at her lighter for fire but it never worked. Sakura was about to give up when she saw a shadow in front of her.

She was too scared to look up, paralyzed in fear she allowed the stranger to help her.

"Thank You," Sakura sighed. Relief started to flood through her system as the nicotine invaded her. She looked up to make eye contact with a familiar dark set of eyes, Sasuke.

"I didn't think I'd see you again so soon." Sasuke chimed as he handed her lighter back. A lazy-care free smile adorned his face. Sakura did not take kindly to his expression nor his statement.

"I can leave."

"No need to run away like a scared cat. You're fine." Sasuke reassured watching her cower away from him. "Going to work huh, when are you clocking in."

"Thirty minutes." She said as she exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Why do you need me to patch you up?"

"Not today Neko-chan, I was just walking by." Sasuke teased as he started walking away. Missing the way Sakura's shoulders stiffened and her frown deepened at the sound of her newly found nickname.

* * *

"Doctor can I speak with you for a moment." A nurse named Ami hollered from across the hall as Sakura made her way to the locker room.

"Your patient in the ICU passed away last night, we were going to analyze his case at in an hour in the director's office."

Sakura felt her chest tighten again but it was nothing like this morning, she was still riding out her high.

"Oh, I was just about to head over to his room after I clocked in. Thanks for letting me know."She replied before continuing her journey to the locker room.

Her mood had taken a hit ever since her dream, that she had yet to recover from. Her scrubs felt like it weighed an additional ten pounds. She was sure her lab coat was replaced with a straitjacket, it was so restrictive.

Her mind raced, she thought about her patient. He had been a prisoner of war, subjected to oxygen deprivation, it didn't take Sakura long to know that nothing could be done. She had consulted with his family and allowed them to keep him on life supporting equipment. It was heartbreaking watching the way his family spent hours at his side despite the bleak prognosis.

She wondered if her mother waited for her in a similar manner during the year they stayed. Did they wait hoping that one day she'd show up at there door? Would she have been able to walk back in their house and water the plants like nothing ever happened?

"I've been looking all over for you. Why are you here." Sakura heard a familiar voice tell her.

Not making eye contact Sakura replied to Ino, "Sorry I haven't felt very well, I got really bad sleep last night." She murmured.

"Well, we can't have that. Come let's get you some coffee." Ino said pulling Sakura's hand.

"Ino, I can't I have a meeting at 9." Sakura protested.

"It won't take you 45 minutes to drink a cup of coffee." She assured as she continued to drag her out.

Making eye contact Sakura could clearly see the determination written in Ino's eyes but when Ino looked into Sakura's all she could see was dying embers.

Sakura made her way back into the locker room after her meeting. Pulling out a first-aid kit to patch the wounds on her hand. She had been so nervous throughout the duration of her meeting that all she could do was clench her fist until there was a familiar moist feeling where her hand touched the table.

It wasn't until she was asked to explain her care plan on the recently deceased patient. That she realized her hand was not covered with sweat, it was covered in blood.

In the end not only were they satisfied with her actions but they decided to offer her a promotion of sorts in the form of an office.

* * *

After work, she decides that the bus is too crowded for her liking and walks home. The roads are empty, for now, and the sun is hot. It didn't take her too long to realize what hemisphere of the earth she was on even if she can't pinpoint the exact country. The seasons blended seamlessly with the ones she remembers feeling.

The sun still kisses her ever more tenderly than Naruto was ever able to but it no longer gives her skin that radiance it once had. She assumes a diet made out of brown rice, coffee, and an occasional vegetable would do the trick, her newly found nicotine addiction probably didn't help either.

Despite all the weight she's lost her steps feel heavy, it takes effort to emulate any type of normalcy but it has been a long time since she's made her way to the market. Maybe a distraction and fresh air could help her. As of lately, she'd made a monthly trip to purchase a bag of rice and coffee. Her wage is very small and Sakura knows she has to save it to pay for travel expenses when she escapes.

Suddenly it's crowded, much more crowded than the bus ever was. Her hands start to feel shaky again and suddenly she's scared. She's scared of what the future holds for her, what her parents will think of her if they saw her like this? Will Naruto blame her for taking so long to return to him?

She clutches her chest to contain the dull ache and continues to walk, there is a store at the end of the block, near her home, that sells cigarettes. 'That's all I need,' she thinks.

"A pretty flower for a pretty lady." She hears a familiar voice say several feet away from her.

Her frown deepens; she walks the other direction, the last thing she needs is to see a couple in love.

But she feels heavier and heavier. She decides to sit at an empty chair near a stand, its busy enough now that no one notices.

The market starts to spin. Her hands reach her head in an effort to keep herself steady.

"Ma'am' are you ok?" She hears a concerned voice.

She's not okay, 'I'm not ok,' she reaffirms, scared to say this out loud. She shakes her head, slowly because the world might start to spin even faster.

"….please," She croaks reaching towards the voice. It's hard to breathe she feels her throat constricting tighter and tighter. 'you'll be okay' she thinks to herself, 'Naruto will make things better.'

"…you have to call my husband." She stammers

She thinks it's raining because of all the wetness of her cheeks.

A black figure approaches her, 'Naruto' she thinks. She moves a shaky hand towards his left arm to test her suspicion. She touches a familiar cool metal that starts right above his elbow.

"You're here." She cries jumping onto the man. Wrapping her arms around him as she buries her head into his chest. "I'm so sorry Naruto, I was so scared…I-I tried so hard," She continues unsure of where to start

The metal hand traces familiar circles on her back. "Shhh…It's okay." A husky voice reaffirms her.

"I apologize-" She hears him tell the shopkeeper.

* * *

"I apologize." He tells the concerned shopkeeper. Who is completely oblivious to the tragedy that's clinging to him.

"You must be the husband." The shopkeeper says with a disapproving voice, most likely having seen him earlier shamelessly flirting with other women.

"Aa."

He looks down to the head of pink hair, her eyes are closed but her sobs continue. Leaving a familiar damp feeling that seeped through his shirt. Wordlessly he bent down to buckle her knees against his arm and make his way to her house.

Sasuke is well acquainted with the feeling of a body pressed up against him but he can't describe that stir that felt when his hand rested on her back and felt every bone of her body. He can't help but bring himself back to Itachi's final weeks. He distinctly recalls the way his ribs felt against his hands when he started needed help to use the commode.

"I'm so sorry you have to see me like this." Itachi would often say in between breaths, even simple sentences like that left him out of breath.

Sakura's breathing even out against his neck, he can't blame her for feeling the way she does. He wonders how much information Ino's glazed over in the heat of the moment, but the little he has learned is never the less pleasant.

It's easy finding her room in the small house, he places her on the bed. Moving the stray rose colored strands away from her dampened forehead. "Please stay," she murmurs as her hand reaches out to clutch his wrist.

"Naruto-" She continues with a steady voice, "Please, I know things have been rough but I'm confident with time we can try again." Sasuke can hear the agony laced in her words. Her tone matches that of his mother as she tried to piece his father back together after Itachi's death.

"Sakura…" He starts kneeling down him mind racing trying to pull words out of thin air that would make things better.

To his surprise, Sasuke her glassy eyes open widening in recognition. Sa-Sasuke" she stammers. "I'm sorry." She starts over dropping her head in shame.

"It's okay Neko-chan." He says trying to ease the situation. "…I'll come and check up on you tomorrow."

"No... please stay." She repeats. "Please, I'm not okay." Her hand fails to detach from his wrist. Her eyes look at him with the same fear that Itachi had as he faced death.

He obliges

* * *

It's late and Naruto can't sleep. His right arm throbs, his fingertips tingle. Sometimes he feels like someone is squeezing his hand to the point where his fingers collapse. Sakura had always reassured him these phantom pains were normal, offering medicine for the pain.

But ever since she left, the pain had become more frequent and the medication had little to no effect.

He turns his head to the figure next to him. The women besides him sports a relaxed, even blissful expression, not a sign of stress adorns her face. His heart flutters as he rests his sight on the small bump that adorns her abdomen.

Glassy eyes open, "Naruto-kun." A sweet voice fills the air.

"Go back to sleep, Hinata" He whispers moving his hand to her abdomen. Waiting for the familiar feel of kick underneath his palm but nothing ever comes.

"Naruto-" She says with a sleepy tone. "-you know it's too early for you to feel him move."

"Sorry I just can't help myself," He sheepishly grins before placing his lips on her forehead. Shortly after he turns around to fake a slumber. After a couple of minutes, he hears her breaths even out as he still can't find sleep in his system.

So for now he wonders what had come of his first wife.

* * *

 _lll_


	7. Don't Know How To Fool You No More

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

Don't Know How to Fool You no More

* * *

Of course, Hinata knew who Sakura was and had been, how could she not? Her image had been plastered all over the news ever since the day of her disappearance.

She knew of the fake hospital phone call that led her astray into the depths of the world leaving a broken husband in search of his wife who disappeared without a cause or warning.

The eyes that looked at her through the television screen were not the cerulean ocean that she had found herself drowning in years ago. Instead, they were void of life and any will to live. His face was no longer clean-shaven, his hair was long and disheveled. He looked like a ghost of his former self.

Hinata could not bear to see him in such a state.

She wants to say she doesn't know what possessed her into booking the flight that led her to his front door, but a small part of her knows that it is hope of regaining what she had once lost years ago. Back when she was a young timid university student who had fallen in love with the boy down her hall.

He looked worse in person, while the camera did not do his boyish rugged looks justice, it also did not showcase the heavy aura that he carried. It did not show the newly formed stress marks on his face.

It did not show the piled dishes, moldy due to months of neglect. The laundry basket that still held her dirty clothes waiting for her to tend to. Nor did it show the empty nursery that was barren except for a photograph of the tiny feet of a stillborn. They missed the handwritten letter Sakura had written for Naruto neatly folded on his nightstand, promising him that fate would change and that they'd soon have the happily ever after they wanted.

She waited for a whole year before he allowed her to help him slowly clear his house of her belongings. A sign that he was starting to come to terms with the idea that she would never return. Hinata started by removing all of Sakura's photos from around the house. Every time she caught Naruto staring at her image she could hear his heart break a little more.

Hinata didn't blame him for falling in love with her. She was beautiful, exotic with her western features and pastel pink hair, that always reminded Hinata the dragons bear she used to buy at festivals. Hinata couldn't help but feel like she pales in comparison to her.

When she was in undergrad she was often told that she was the night to Naruto's day. She was his opposite that complimented him perfectly. He had a loud outgoing personality while she was quiet and reserved. He looked like the physical embodiment of a bright sunny day, his eyes were similar to those of the sky on a day where all you want to do is soak up his yellow sunlike hair. While her hair resembled the night sky something which contrasted beautifully with her pale, moon-like eyes.

Almost ceremoniously she'd sit and agonize over the pain written in her text. Analyzing every stroke, wrinkle, and mark. Her strokes were rough, difficult to read at times, a staple to her profession. But on rare occasion, the curves of her letters showed tenderness, passion, and love.

This went out for months until Naruto caught her.

It wasn't too long after that he confessed to her that she never had the chance to give him the letter.

"I was searching for a hint or anything to tell me that she left me when I found this in her desk. This is why I won't ever give up trying to get her back. She couldn't have written this and then left me it makes no sense." He lamented while gasping for air agonizing over the idea of his wife being torn away from him. Tears easily spilled from his eyes in sorrow.

"Hinata, I think that I might have pushed her away. I made a lot of mistakes. " He agonized over his actions. Time stopped as Hinata watched him muster up the courage to speak.

And then he confessed, he told her of all his fights all his wrongdoings.

He spoke of how he pushed her away from following her dreams. How he made her move to this godforsaken town that was so cut off from the rest of the world because he was scared. Scared that one day she'd realize she could do better and leave. How he couldn't hold her like he used to after she lost their child. How everytime he'd see her crying he'd walk the other way because he couldn't handle their pain either. How he had once wished for disappearance because that would make his life significantly easier. How wrong he had been because it, in fact, made everything more difficult now that it's happened.

How her absence now destroys him every day.

* * *

The taste of the cigarette was bitter and dirty. The rich distinctive smell made Sakura swoon she could physically feel the tar stick her lungs after every inhale. It was slowly killing her, a few years ago she would have resented this because she wanted to be alive for as long as possible. Now she resents it because it's not killing her fast enough.

She wanted to ask Sasuke to leave, but she doesn't know why she can't. So for now, she watches him read a small orange book. While she thinks about how her next smoke break.

He's too cocky, too flirty, too smug but despite that, Sakura can see how his shoulder are slightly too rigid, his eyes watch every movement around him, each turn of a page is calculated with honed precession. She's sure his playboy persona has to benefit him, the information has to just pour onto him. Why else would he keep it up?

She can see it now, Ino's melted into his arms while he's whispering sweet nothings to her. She's so comfortable her mind's so cloudy that the information spilling from her in the heat of the moment. Her words are nothing but pure raw unedited data.

"Like what you see Neko-chan." He teased through amusing eyes as he peers up from his novel. Sakura frowns quickly turning her head back to the stove in front of her.

He walked over to her placing his head on her shoulder. "Foods almost ready?"

Sakura's back instinctively stiffened and her breath hitched. She wants to move from his touch so badly, just like a scared cat. At one point in her life she would have craved physical touches like this, but now it feels unnatural. The heat radiating from his skin is so hot she worries it might burn her.

"Not for another thirty minutes." She says through ridged words. Watching the clock to perfectly measure her breaths.

"Perfect, I got something to take care of quickly. I'll be back." He explained as he left rapidly, not giving her enough time to reply. She missed her opportunity ask him not to come back.

While she cooks, she thinks of all the ways his traits clash in a way that her husband would have hated. She can't help but imagine a world where she would have lived her life happily with Ino and Sasuke back at her home. In this world her baby survives, he's bright and happy just like his parents. Ino doesn't have to suffer through a fake relationship because Sasuke takes her seriously. Sakura no longer finds pain in Ino's eyes at the mention of Sasuke's name. Ino no longer has to hear gossip of his cheating through other nursing staff.

By the time the porridge was ready, she had set aside the possibility of Sasuke's return. She reached for her plate when she felt a hand on top of hers.

"I told you I'd be back before lunch." A voice teased.

"You didn't but serve yourself."

"Neko-chan you're no fun."

They ate in silence, Sakura used to hate moments like this. Moments like this reminded her how much she missed her husband's incoherent rambling. Moments like this reminded her that her life was never going to back to normal.

"Last night, I saw you. Does Ino know you're doing this?" Sakura abruptly says.

Sasuke stops, he looks conflicted Sakura can tell. "Why would Ino be involved in those matters?" His tone raises, she's heard it many times before. If he makes any movement, she'll flinch.

"At the hospital, I hear nurses tell each other of there nights with you... Ino always looks sad after those conversations." Her tone is low, she barely speaks above a whisper because she can feel his dislike of the conversation. For now, she stares at her porridge in hopes of not making things any worse.

Sasuke laughs, much to Sakura's surprise its a rich laugh, not the like smug husky ones she's heard before. "Oh Neko-chan, I'm not dating Ino, those nurses love to gossip. I'll talk to her I don't want her to get any ideas we have our own deal." A deal where he shares his body in exchange for information. Sasuke had never understood her need to be with him, aside from a physical attraction they shared very little interests.

Sasuke changes the subject with a small orange jar placed in front of her. Sakura reaches for it reading the label clearly _Hydroxyzine._ The name that's usually located on the top of the label had been scratched off.

"I don't use them anymore, I figured you could throw them away or use them." He said nonchalantly a hint of amusement from there previous conversation still lingers in his words.

Sakura felt her lip quiver as she placed them in the pocket of her apron wordlessly. She knew the information he had given was a lie, all of ROOTS agents went through excessive health screening and someone that would require hydroxyzine would have been retired.

"Sasuke, have you ever been to Japan?" Sakura asks in hopes of a favor.

* * *

Hinata couldn't count the trips she made to Kizashi and Mebuki's house in the past couple of months. Part of her wishes she could just pack all of her belongs and take them to Sakura's parents' house. The town wasn't very driver friendly with its small cramped roads, everyone resorts to walking around by foot. Despite this, it was quaint in its own charming way, where all the houses compliment each other and everyone is friendly and excited to get to know you.

So, for now, she takes several trips. Allowing Naruto to go through every item before handing it away. He analyzes every object item she owned and goes into great length of his memory of her with it.

Kizashi's voice always lets her know she's arrived to Sakura's parents.

"Hinata common in the doors unlocked. Mebuki is in the kitchen... MEBUKI" Mr. Haruno says through the fence, he's out tending to the garden. Hinata knows through Naruto's stories about how much Sakura took after her father in that regard; always wanting a small garden in her house.

"Hinata, Welcome! Is Naruto with you today?" A cheery voice says from the kitchen.

"No, he went to work, I just came to drop some stuff off." Hinata sweetly replied, looking for a place to place the box on in the midst of other boxes. It wasn't long since Sakura's family had invited Naruto over to tell him that they could no longer live with the pain of losing Sakura. How they firmly believed they needed to start over back in America.

"Just place it where ever you can find space. Come share a cup of tea with me." Mebuki says through confident words, peaking her head out of the kitchen. Hinata recognizes the apron white apron adorned with pastel pink sakura flowers that Mebuki is currently wearing. She's seen it on Sakura through several pictures she had.

It was becoming increasingly clear that impact Sakura had made was never going to disappear. Hinata feels a sinking feeling of despair.

* * *

Mebuki was nothing but kind to Hinata, she had never accused her of stealing her daughter's spot in Naruto's life. She had even gone as far as to offer her blessing.

"Naruto's been through a lot since Sakura left. You've made him very happy and he deserves it. We grew to love Naruto as our own son and want nothing but his happiness after all of this."

Despite this kindness Hinata never missed the resentment in her eyes when she'd they'd find her with Naruto around town.

This is what led Hinata into finding a series of alleys, she could not stand to walk around a town that had been so captivated by the loss of Sakura. She wonders if this is what Neji felt right before he ran away. This feeling of helplessness was starting to eat her up, she could only stare at the ground while she walked.

Then a small speck buried in the dirt caught her eye. She figures it's a piece of tin, Naruto had gotten her in the habit of picking this stuff up to throw away because Sakura had once told him animals eventually eat these.

She crouches down to pull a thin silver band attached to a long gold necklace, its dainty, every stone has been placed with great care. The craftsmanship on it is impeccable, this had to have been worth quite a bit of money. Despite its dirtied condition, she can make a small engraved script on the inside of it. _S.U. + N.U._

Hinata knows this is the evidence she needs to prove Sakura ran away.

She knows this is what Naruto needs to move on. To understand that Sakura had left and never intended to return.

She clutches it in her hand, her pace quickens on the walk back to Naruto's house.

Not long after Naruto follows in his in-law's footsteps to move away. Asking for her patience while they file for Sakura's death certificate and have a small private makeshift funeral.

* * *

In the end, Sasuke had been called away in the form of a phone call. He had promised her he'll look into her request, now all Sakura can do is wait.

Sakura finds herself between staring at her dying garden, a mark of the changing season, and the small bottle of medicine he had given her.

She can make out a faint 'Mi' and 'ha' she can't shake the events of the past two days out of her mind. After her attack, she begged Sasuke to stay. She was scared, she felt like a bystander in her own body. She was disconnected to the point where she could only search for comfort in the person who was next to her.

Maybe she could use hydroxyzine she wasn't a stranger to the small jar of pills in her hands. She'd often prescribe it to patients that had vividly described the very symptoms she had gone through the previous night.

Without further thought, she opens the jar and places the small pill in her mouth.

She needs to adapt to her new life, or it'll leave her behind without answering the rest of her questions.

* * *

 _lll_


End file.
